Post by Tomspy77 on Sept 28, 2009 12:52:52 GMT -6
The Burglar
It was after midnight and a burglar had just broken into a very large house in an affluent neighborhood. Upon entering the house, he was very careful not to make a sound. As he crept around in the dark, he heard a voice say, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!" Stunned by the voice, the burglar came to a sudden halt, and remained motionless. After waiting a few minutes, once again, the same voice said, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!" Becoming a bit more frightened, the burglar took out his flashlight, turned it on, and glanced around the room. To his utter amazement, he saw a large birdcage with a parrot in it. The burglar chuckled quietly and said to the parrot "Did you say that?" The parrot repeated the same phrase again, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!" You're just a parrot!" said the amused burglar. "What is your name?" "Noah", said the parrot. "Well then who is Jesus and where is he?" The parrot quickly answered, " Jesus is the Doberman and he is right behind you."
The Parrot and the Wife
Late one afternoon, a man and his wife walked into a pet store to purchase some goldfish food. The man seeing a beautiful sleek, green parrot, walked over to the bird to admire its fine feathers. The bird said, "Hey mister, your wife sure is ugly." The man was furious and complained to the owner, "Do you know what your bird just said to me?" The owner went over to the parrot, took it out of its cage, pinched its beak shut and gave it a stern reprimand. "You know what I told you about that.This is your last chance! Next time I'm taking you to the shelter." He then put the bird back into the cage. The man and his wife walked past the bird's cage on their way out of the store. The parrot glanced back and forth between man and owner. The man said "What?" The parrot softly muttered, "You know what."
The Penguins
A young man was driving down the road and the back seat of the car was filled with penguins. A police officer saw this and made the man stop the car. He told the young man that this was illegal and that the birds belonged in a zoo. He swore he would give him a hefty fine if he did not do so immediately. The man agreed to do this. The next day the officer spotted the same man driving down the road and the back seat of the car was once again filled with penguins. This time the birds were wearing sunglasses. Once again the officer made the man stop the car. He said "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo?" The young man answered politely "Yes sir, I did take them to the zoo and we had a wonderful time. Today we are going to the beach."
The Senior and the Teen
An elderly, gray haired man was standing at a bus stop. He noticed the spiked, red, blue, yellow, and green hair of a teenager dressed in punk clothing. The brazen young punk snapped at the man, "What are ya staring at ya ol geezer? Haven't ya ever done anything wild and outrageous during your own life?" The man looked the teen in the eyes and replied, "As a matter of fact, yes I did. I was once married to a parrot and I was just wondering if you might be my long lost son."
At the Auction
A rather sophisticated young woman attended an auction and noticed that a beautiful,colorful macaw parrot was soon to be put up for bidding. She immediately decided that she had to own it. She waited impatiently for the bird to be brought out for bidding. When the bird was finally brought out the auctioneer asked, "What do I hear for this marvelous parrot?" The woman opened bidding with a confident "Five hundred dollars." Her bid was raised by another bidder who shouted "Six hundred dollars." "Eight hundred!" She shouted. "Eight hundred fifty!" "Nine hundred!" The bidding continued for several minutes until the price was raised to $2000 and the woman became the owner of the parrot. She proudly approached the auctioneer and asked "Can this parrot talk?" The auctioneer replied "Who do you think was bidding against you?"
It was after midnight and a burglar had just broken into a very large house in an affluent neighborhood. Upon entering the house, he was very careful not to make a sound. As he crept around in the dark, he heard a voice say, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!" Stunned by the voice, the burglar came to a sudden halt, and remained motionless. After waiting a few minutes, once again, the same voice said, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!" Becoming a bit more frightened, the burglar took out his flashlight, turned it on, and glanced around the room. To his utter amazement, he saw a large birdcage with a parrot in it. The burglar chuckled quietly and said to the parrot "Did you say that?" The parrot repeated the same phrase again, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!" You're just a parrot!" said the amused burglar. "What is your name?" "Noah", said the parrot. "Well then who is Jesus and where is he?" The parrot quickly answered, " Jesus is the Doberman and he is right behind you."
The Parrot and the Wife
Late one afternoon, a man and his wife walked into a pet store to purchase some goldfish food. The man seeing a beautiful sleek, green parrot, walked over to the bird to admire its fine feathers. The bird said, "Hey mister, your wife sure is ugly." The man was furious and complained to the owner, "Do you know what your bird just said to me?" The owner went over to the parrot, took it out of its cage, pinched its beak shut and gave it a stern reprimand. "You know what I told you about that.This is your last chance! Next time I'm taking you to the shelter." He then put the bird back into the cage. The man and his wife walked past the bird's cage on their way out of the store. The parrot glanced back and forth between man and owner. The man said "What?" The parrot softly muttered, "You know what."
The Penguins
A young man was driving down the road and the back seat of the car was filled with penguins. A police officer saw this and made the man stop the car. He told the young man that this was illegal and that the birds belonged in a zoo. He swore he would give him a hefty fine if he did not do so immediately. The man agreed to do this. The next day the officer spotted the same man driving down the road and the back seat of the car was once again filled with penguins. This time the birds were wearing sunglasses. Once again the officer made the man stop the car. He said "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo?" The young man answered politely "Yes sir, I did take them to the zoo and we had a wonderful time. Today we are going to the beach."
The Senior and the Teen
An elderly, gray haired man was standing at a bus stop. He noticed the spiked, red, blue, yellow, and green hair of a teenager dressed in punk clothing. The brazen young punk snapped at the man, "What are ya staring at ya ol geezer? Haven't ya ever done anything wild and outrageous during your own life?" The man looked the teen in the eyes and replied, "As a matter of fact, yes I did. I was once married to a parrot and I was just wondering if you might be my long lost son."
At the Auction
A rather sophisticated young woman attended an auction and noticed that a beautiful,colorful macaw parrot was soon to be put up for bidding. She immediately decided that she had to own it. She waited impatiently for the bird to be brought out for bidding. When the bird was finally brought out the auctioneer asked, "What do I hear for this marvelous parrot?" The woman opened bidding with a confident "Five hundred dollars." Her bid was raised by another bidder who shouted "Six hundred dollars." "Eight hundred!" She shouted. "Eight hundred fifty!" "Nine hundred!" The bidding continued for several minutes until the price was raised to $2000 and the woman became the owner of the parrot. She proudly approached the auctioneer and asked "Can this parrot talk?" The auctioneer replied "Who do you think was bidding against you?"